Intelligent Avoidance
Gun, Food and Time walk into a bar and met Emotion and Intelligence having a beer. They sit together and start talking about the world and current events.
Gun starts crying, and says, “Life’s not fair! There is so much violence in the world and they blame it on guns! I don’t even have a brain and can’t make any decisions. I feel like such a tool!”
Then Food starts crying too and laments, “You think you got it bad? Think of all the overweight people of this world blaming food for how much they eat. There is no such thing as Food Intelligence, I feel so tasteless.”
Time starts sobbing, “Ha! I haven’t changed since the beginning of time, but now everybody complains they don’t have enough time. They blame me when they shove way too many activities into a single moment. I feel stretched and worthless.”
Emotion then tears up and begins wailing, “Every one of you blames me for how you feel about what’s happening in the world. People claim they are following their emotions for how to think and act. But emotions just give power without any guidance or direction. There is no such thing as emotional intelligence. I feel so used.”
Then, as Gun, Food, Time and Emotions cry about being blamed and misused, Intelligence bust our laughing. “Ha, you thoughtless buffoons. Who do you think came up with the idea of blaming you in the first place? Nobody blames their problems on thinking.”
And then Intelligence fell onto the floor laughing its ass off.
Learning Control
So, Emotion and Pee were discussing how a person’s skills of control changed as they grew up from infant to adult.
Pee was explaining how a baby had no control and just peed anywhere at any time. Then as children, they learned how to control their pee, but couldn’t see it coming ahead of time, so they needed help to mindfully manage when they peed. Then as adults, they had great awareness and control and knew what was coming, so they just peed at the most appropriate time and way.
“Well,” Emotion pondered, “It seems to me that learning skills to manage peeing makes more sense than how they manage emotions. For emotions, it seems they do it backwards. Baby’s seem to manage and express their emotions appropriately as they just express them directly when they feel them. Children need help to learn to recognize and control their emotions. But adults have no control. They just hold it in as long as they can, until it comes out anywhere at any time.”
End Results
So, Breath, Diarrhea and Emotions met at a bar and were talking about how long people could hold them in before they suffered any consequences.
Breath boasted, “People rarely last two minutes and then pass out or start gasping for air and have to breath.”
“That’s nothing,” Diarrhea tooted, “People can fight me for hours, but I just power up the stench and explode out with stinking runny shit to ruin clothes and events. Then they have to wipe their asses clean.”
Emotion ponders for a moment. “Those are dreadful consequences indeed. But people can fight their emotions for a lifetime, ruining their life, and their kids and parents lives and neighbors and communities, and even build institutions to hold in unwanted feelings. Civilizations have crumbled being unable to express and manage the uncomfortable emotions they hold in.”
Hearing this, Breath gasped, and Diarrhea farted, “Holy Crap!”
Emotion calmly looked at them and said, “What? You were expecting a happy ending when you spend a lifetime fucking over your emotional powers?”
